I’m sure this topic has been discussed to death on many a blog and in many a book. However, I feel like this is a topic that cannot be discussed enough.
Being a free and independent Alpha 2.0 requires you to make more decisions than any beta male or any alpha 1.0. At the expense of getting on my soapbox, this is becoming more and more difficult for people to do. The comforts of settling, combined with the overwhelm of too many “shallow” choices, have given us the illusion that were are forced to lead lives of quiet desperation.
It does not have to be this way.
Making decisions, no matter how big or small, no matter how easy or how difficult, tell the world around you that you are powerful and that you are able to do things for yourself.
A decision, for me, means that permanent change is taking place. Allow me to provide an example. My headphones were cutting in and out in my phone and it was quite annoying. I needed new headphones. So without a second thought, I threw them out.
My aux cord in my car was having similar malfunctions. I threw it out without a second thought as well.
Now I MUST replace these things. There’s no going back.
THAT is how to make a decision, that is how strong individuals make decisions. I could have just kept the old headphones and shopped around for new ones but never getting new ones like a weak person would. But no. I was committed to getting new headphones, so I am MAKING myself get new headphones. This may sound silly, but it applies to more than just easily replaceable materials.
Now, does this apply to all decisions? Yes, and no. It really depends on how this decision is going to affect you. In the headphones example, my decision was pretty much negligible in the context of my survival. I can do without headphones for awhile. But deciding on something else that could actually affect you, like getting your own place, or leaving your job or quitting school so you can get a job (knowing that your parents won't support you)? There’s a little more planning that goes into that. However, the same action applies. When you are ready to make the decision, you must, in a metaphysical sense throw away that old thing as soon as you can, and either replace it or never go back to it.
Making permanent decisions, no matter how big or small, requires commitment on your part. And in some cases, these decisions are not as “permanent” as many lead you to believe.
For example, you can always replace possessions. As far as school goes, school will always be there and they will never go away. You can always go back. This is why I took so much time off school. It wasn’t going to just magically disappear or anything, and I knew that I could just return. Its why left my job. I can just get a job somewhere else, just as easily as I can buy new headphones in most cases. So when someone says that they made a big decision when they quit their job or something, I just shrug. All you did was just throw away a possession, really. That’s right, when you quit your job or school, you were just throwing away a set of headphones or an aux cord in a metaphysical sense.
So the burning question must be asked: What ARE big decisions?
Lifestyle changes. THOSE are big decisions. Those are the decisions that are truly permanent. And yes, I understand that your schooling/profession are part of a lifestyle. But like I mentioned earlier, those are only on the surface. Your habits, principles, values and beliefs. These are things that really shape someone’s way of life. These are things that most decisions are built on. And these decisions should be built on a descending order, by the way. Meaning:
Your habits are consistent, usually unconscious, physical expressions of your either your principles, values, or your opinions/beliefs. The best habits are derived from your principles and values. The worst ones come from opinions and beliefs (especially if those opinions and beliefs are influenced by societal programming).
Your principles are values of yours that you will not compromise. These are "rules" you make for yourself and others. The "big" decisions in your life should come from your principles. May every deity ever created or imagined help you if societal programming has influenced your principles.
Your values are personal guidelines that you have developed through analysis of your opinions and your beliefs. These aren't as hard and fast as principles as they can be compromised. "Small" decisions should come from your values.
And your opinions and beliefs are observations of others, and your feelings on them. Most of this is societal programming that needs to be overcome, but without bending to the will of another person or group's societal programming in the process (I might write another article about this).
Do you want to know why people suck at making good decisions? Its because we skip the process of exploring our principles and values and usually either let others (either people or societal programming) make decisions for us. If this sounds like something out of an Anthony Robbins book or seminar, that’s because it kind of is. If bad, or unproductive habits are “running your life” its because you probably don’t have a backbone of your own self created principles and values.
Or even worse, you do have that backbone, but those principles and values are nihilistic in nature, meaning you have stopped caring about your future or well being and have given up on things. This is dangerous, because now your vices have made all the decisions for you. This is probably why there is so much addiction, degeneracy, and empty spectating in the world.
I've been privy to this and have witnessed several people around me "self destruct" into a concept I call "degenerate spectating" (which I will talk about in another article). The degenerate who binge watches shows on Netflix isn't making a decision based on principles and values; he or she is letting nihilism and entropy making decisions. The same can be said for the lost soul who plays video games all day. And I know, there exist those who make money doing these things. I am not talking about those people.
Decision making has truly become a lost art. Even something as insignificant as choosing what you want to eat is becoming a chore for some people. Its a situation I'm sure everyone has been in, the whole "where do you want to go?" dialogue. Alpha 2.0s should have no qualms in deciding where or what to eat (or any other simple decision). If you get into this degenerate "where do you want to go" dialogue, either on your own or with someone, you need to revisit your values and principles and brush up on your decision making skills.
To conclude this, allow me to provide some exercises in decision making skills. If you can consistently make small decisions, you'll eventually be able to make the big ones without wasting weeks upon months thinking about them.
1) If there is something inexpensive (relative to your income) in your place or car that you want to replace, throw the thing that you want to replace out without a second thought. This will make you want to replace it, instead of holding on to the thing you want to replace for weeks upon months on end.
2) If there is something you want to buy, and you have the money, buy it without a second thought. This is the only time I will ever approve of compulsive behavior.
3) I'm about to drop some old school mid 2000s PUA lore here. Go out cold approaching. Day or night, whichever environment puts you in a better mood. The first person you see who you find attractive, count 1-2-3-approach! (either in your head or out loud) and approach them. THIS is how you cure "social anxiety," not by using drugs.
4) And now its time to destroy the "where do you want to go?" dialogue that I despise so much. Search in your phone or PC for your absolute favorite food joint. Now go to it. I don't care if its 1000 miles away, you are going to this food joint.
Decision making skills lead to effective planning. Both are absolutely necessary for becoming an Alpha 2.0.