This is somewhat a practical guide based on my personal experience (plus some good debates on the NextAsf forum). I hope you enjoy it and try it out. On the other hand, feel free to disagree if you don’t like it (in a nice manner, please):
1. Never reward bad behavior. This is rule #1 when texting! If she flakes, NEVER answer her texts in an apologetic or condescending way. It does not matter if the reason seems legit. Don’t patronize her! Instead be neutral and show her it’s not that important to you.
A) Her: “I cannot meet you today. My back hurts a lot!”
You: “That’s bad. Get better soon!”
B) Her: “My mom asked me to help her shopping, sorry”
You: “Sounds good, have fun”
C) Her “Damn, can’t meet ya, will have to work late”
You “Ok…gotta go training now, good luck”
If she texts you fluffy BS after your neutral answer, you should never, ever start a conversation right away. Reschedule it if she hints interest or ignore it and re-engage later.
Of course girls think this stuff is not that black and white (especially the young ones) as they are very different from us, men. Even so, you’d better not reward something annoying with more attention. Remember: legit or not, flaking is bad behavior (not a big deal, but still bad).
2. Never text a lot without a strong indication that a meeting will occur…if you ask her out twice and have nothing to show for, it’s probably a great time to withdraw and move on:
When you’re comforting her before a first date, it’s ok to text a little extra. BUT if you hint a meeting and she stalls it, don’t try to “fix” anything. It’s probably not your fault anyway (but it will be if you keep pushing it!!!).
Solution A: Go a little overboard. Example:
Her: “I don’t know if I can meet you today babe (flaking for the second time)”
You: “I’d love to text you more but unfortunately I’m too busy and haven’t had much free time these days.”
You: “I can meet you at XX or XX day on YY time for a drink. We’ll talk, have some laughs and see how things go.”
You: “Hit me if you like the idea.”
1) drop that text or something along these lines (by the way, at that stage your chances are kinda low);
2) go sarge three new women and forget about her (you’re obsessing over a fantasy and it’s not good for your health. Fucking is good for your health);
Solution B: Stop answering her for a while. Re-engage in a nonchalant way, create some comfort and try one last time.
“Can’t go to the bar today”
“Ok” (radio silence for two weeks, don’t answer her texts, re-engage with something like “Hey, thought about you today”)
Solution C: Never ask her out! Tease her ad infinitum until she hints for a meeting. Then you set up logistics – on the spot – and go for the kill (some PUs are masters at this!)
The drawback of C is it may take A LOT of time (especially if you’re not really good at teasing) and the meeting might never occur. I employ it sometimes but it’s not usually my go-to method (more on that below).
As we can see, we may split the “texting for a meeting” into two opposite categories:
You just text a bit to create enough comfort and interest and then ask her out in a direct manner, setting up good logistics in the process.
- Very simple, can be used with effective success rates even by beginners
- Very direct, if she’s stalling or just wasting your time you’ll flush her out really fast
- You can fit meetings into a busy schedule
- You can set up a great number of meetings in the same place or calendar slot, saving you a lot of time
- Can be easily replicable
- Really tight, does not leave room for improvisation
- Can get you bored after a while
- Not exactly suitable for Thrill of the Hunt guys
- Can be a slow process between the first contact/match and the meeting
- Vulnerable to flakes
- She can change her mind due to a lot of factors like cold feet, second guessing herself, a bad day or some last minute event
- Kind of automatic, plus in my opinion planning dates is not a fun way to do pick up
As I said before, the point here is to tease her enough till her “armor” cracks and she leaves an opening for a meeting. By using this method, you’ll never ask her out directly.
- Can be really fast to pull a girl out of nowhere
- Good for late in the evening and weekends
- Free flow and challenging
- Will test your skills and make you improve
- You can put your personal signature in the whole process
- Very intelligent type of seduction
- Flaking never occurs because you’re just not asking her out
- Not that simple, a lot can go wrong from your side in the process
- You need at least intermediate conversational and woman skills
- Not schedule friendly
- Short window of opportunity – if you miss her sexual cues she’s probably gone
- May depend on availability, you can go a long time without a new date if your pool isn’t large enough or your skills aren’t good enough
So that’s it! Whichever route you choose, remember those simple rules and have fun!
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you need to text the same woman over and over again it means that you’re not busy enough and probably not hitting enough numbers…go sarge more AND focus more on your Mission and current goals.