I've had this nagging feeling like its too late for me to do Alpha 2 stuff.
I was an incel omega through most of my 20s, battling depression, self hatred, suicidal thoughts and other stuff. Struggled to keep a piss poor retail job even though I went to college for 8 years.
At 36 I'm staring down the barrel of $12 in my bank account and nearly 100k in student loan debt (most of it I took because I actually had a plan to kill myself on my 30th birthday, which obviously didn't happen).
There's a voice in my head that's telling me to off myself by 40 if I'm at the same place I'm at now. It sucks.
Anyone else dealing with this constant ongoing battle? I preach not getting butthurt about stuff but god dammit, I'm starting to crack. So much so that I'm considering not even publishing my book even though everything is written.
I want to buy BD's course but I won't even have the $270 or whatever to begin the installments. I just really hate myself right now :(